(Narcissistic) Love Is A Rollercoaster

You've been wearing your rose-tinted glasses for months, while being doted on by (what seems to be) the perfect gentleman. He wants to spend all his time with you, he makes you feel loved and important.

You don't doubt his feelings because all relationships are like this at the start, where you're wanting to spend all your time together, aren't they. Besides, you've never heard of love bombing before, so there's nothing niggling away at the back of your mind saying "maybe this isn't normal" when he says, you're his "soul mate" and "the love of his life" and all of his exes were "psychos".

Narcissistic love is an emotional rollercoaster.

Gradually you start to find that he belittles you and humiliates you in front of others, he begins to twist your words, telling you he didn’t mean it “like that” and “you’re insecure” when you get upset ...which ironically, makes you feel insecure. But you can’t say that because then he'll twist that too and use it against you, by saying you're "needy" or "crazy" ...anything to take the responsibility away from himself.

You want to believe that he does love you and you try to convince your friends the same, “It’s only because he’s had a drink, he’s not normally like that” except you’re trying to convince yourself as much as them.

There's the days where you do what he wants because you know there’ll be an argument if you don't and you’re too tired to argue. You just want to have fun and to relax, so it’s easier this way ...isn’t it? Your emotions flow between anxious energy as you feel like you're always "walking on eggshells", and exhausted from being so confused because this emotional rollercoaster is messing up your mind.

“Relationships aren’t all smooth sailing though, are they?” you keep telling yourself.

“Everyone has arguments, don’t they!” You try to justify it time and time again. ... but really, this much? And over things like who you talked to at the bar??

And then there's "why has HE just text you??" ...so, you stop texting your male friends and eventually you barely see your female friends either because they don't like him anyway and you can't go alone, because he'll either get angry, or try to stop you.

There's the times where he suddenly storms out, too. Making a scene as he slams the door because you'd been invited to a work party/ your friend text/ a male friend reacted to your Facebook status/ insert your own here

You hear the car charging away. His empty glass left on the side. The rest of the bottle has disappeared with him.

You’re anxious he might get hurt. You know he shouldn’t be driving.

So, now you worry and wonder is it your fault? Are you insecure?? Are you oversensitive?? You didn’t think so, but are you??

Maybe you shouldn’t have male friends’ texting if it’s going to upset him?

So, you sit on the sofa fretting, until hours later when you finally hear the car again.

You let out a sigh of relief. At least you know he isn’t dead.

But you don’t want another argument. You’re drained and wrought.

So, when he comes back inside you don’t mention what happened and how he upset you.

Just like you didn’t mention when it happened the other night too.

Next day, he acts like nothing happened and he showers you with affection. You hope and hope, that this time it'll remain this way because when it does, everything feels perfect.

You don't tell your friends and family because you don't want to cause a scene and make them worry. Not when everything is going well again and he's so nice between the bad moments...

Does this resonate?

How long will it take you to realise what he's doing. To recognise that he's sucking the life out of you ...your personality and your positivity, leaving you empty.

Getting off the rollercoaster you've come to know may be scary but staying on it forever is worse.

Rollercoaster emotions leave you feeling empty.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm Aimee, a #MentalWellbeingCoach specialising in supporting females who are recovering from domestic abuse.

If the above resonates with you and you want a non-judgemental and confidential chat to get your sparkle back, drop me a DM! Or...

Email me on hello@ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk 

Whatsapp me: 07587 010183

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aimee-heaton-ready-aim-succeed-coaching/

Follow me on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ready_aim_succeed_coaching/

Learn more about how I can help you today:

www.ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk

It's important to talk 💖