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Have you ever wondered why two people can experience the same event but interpret it completely differently? The answer often lies in mindset - the lens through which we view the world. Your mindset influences your emotions, reactions, and overall perception of reality, shaping your experiences in profound ways. The Power of Perspective Our emotions play a key role in how we process information. The Wheel of Emotions below, illustrates the vast spectrum of human emotions and how they evolve from primary feelings. If your mindset leans towards positivity and growth , you are more likely to perceive situations as opportunities rather than threats. However, a fixed or negative mindset  can make the same experience feel overwhelming, discouraging, or even hopeless. The Wheel of Emotions The Science Behind Mindset and Perception Research in psychology and neuroscience confirms that our mindset influences the way our brain processes information. Cognitive biases , shaped by past experiences and beliefs, filter what we see, hear, and feel. For example: Optimistic Mindset:  When you cultivate optimism, your brain actively seeks out positive aspects in situations, reinforcing hope and motivation. Fear-Based Mindset:  If fear dominates your thinking, even neutral situations can seem threatening, leading to heightened stress and avoidance behaviours. Growth vs. Fixed Mindset:  A growth mindset- where challenges are seen as learning opportunities- fuels resilience, while a fixed mindset may limit potential and hinder progress. How to Shift Your Mindset for a Better Perception The good news? Your mindset is not  set in stone. Here are some strategies to help shift your perception and enhance your emotional wellbeing: Practice Mindfulness  – Being present in the moment helps you detach from automatic negative reactions and observe situations objectively. Reframe Challenges  – Instead of seeing difficulties as setbacks, view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Surround Yourself with Positivity  – The people and environments we engage with have a significant impact on our mindset. Seek out uplifting and motivating influences. Challenge Negative Thoughts  – Question self-limiting beliefs and replace them with more constructive perspectives. Engage in Gratitude  – Recognising what you’re grateful for can instantly shift your perception and improve overall wellbeing. Final Thoughts Your mindset is a powerful tool that shapes how you experience life. By actively cultivating a positive and growth-oriented perspective, you can transform the way you perceive challenges, emotions, and opportunities. The next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, ask yourself: How can I view this differently?   A small shift in mindset can create a ripple effect of positive change.

Wow! It's been longer than I'd like to admit that I've written a blog post! For anyone who's missed my educational and passionate posts, I'm still always posting on LinkedIn- connect with me there and keep in touch! https://www.linkedin.com/in/aimee-heaton-ready-aim-succeed-coaching/ These past few months have been extremely busy with working, progressing with my apprenticeship, and doing coaching sessions! Today, I found out that I've been nominated for the #EVAS2025 and I'm absolutely over the moon! My nominators' said: " Aimee is a true inspiration. She has turned her own lived experience into a positive, creating a business to support other women who need to recover following an abusive relationship. She is one of the most dynamic and focused people I have ever met, and cares deeply about bringing her experience and insight to supporting others" and... "Aimee is an inspiration to all women. She has started her own business and strives at all times to empower those that she encounters. Aimee has done all of this whilst working full time. She uses every opportunity to increase her knowledge and share her learning with others. She has her own podcast and has had some amazing testimonials from the women she has worked with. I truly believe that Aimee is a phenomenal woman who deserves to be recognised for all she has achieved!" .....Wow!!! I'm now the proud owner of this image, that I can share on my social media, too: Enterprise Vision Awards 2025 Nominee About the EVAs: " At our core, we’re all about championing the women who are shaping the future of entrepreneurship and are beacons of inspiration for the next generation of entrepreneurs. These awards distinguish women who are a driving force for change, women who are building businesses, creating a positive impact and making a real difference in our communities. Success isn’t simply based on turnover – it’s about impact, growth, creativity, ethics, passion, and unwavering commitment, all embodied by the incredible women behind these businesses." Find out more here: https://enterprisevisionawards.co.uk/ I started my business Ready Aim Succeed Coaching in April 2024 and since then I've worked independently to share the word, so I can help to support women who have experienced domestic abuse. I've planted lots of seeds since then and I'm delighted to see that my message is making an impact, my business is growing and my coaching is helping women 💖 Thank you to all the lovely, supportive people who I've coached, networked and collaborated with so far. I'm excited to continue growing and see what 2025 holds 🙌🏻 Bonus 'Free Fizz' today - perfect timing to celebrate!

Domestic abuse goes beyond physical harm; it affects every aspect of a person's life, often leaving invisible scars that can take years to heal. Understanding the potential impacts can be the first step in recognising the severity of the situation and seeking help. Emotional and Psychological Impact: Emotional abuse can be as damaging as physical violence. Constant criticism, manipulation, and control can erode self-esteem, causing feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression. Survivors may develop PTSD, experience intense guilt, or struggle with trust in future relationships. Physical Health Consequences: Even without visible injuries, prolonged stress from abuse weakens the immune system, making one more susceptible to illnesses. Headaches, digestive issues, and chronic pain are common physical symptoms. In severe cases, physical abuse can lead to life-threatening injuries or long-term disabilities. Social Isolation: Abusers often isolate their partners to exert control, cutting them off from family, friends, and support networks. This isolation not only makes it harder to leave but also intensifies feelings of loneliness and dependence on the abuser. Impact on Daily Functioning: Abuse affects concentration, motivation, and productivity, making it difficult to perform well at work or school. Financial abuse, a form of control where the abuser restricts access to money, can leave survivors financially trapped, adding another barrier to leaving. Impact on Future Relationships: The trauma of abuse can impact how one views relationships, often making it difficult to trust others or feel safe again. Healing and building healthy relationships may require time, therapy, and self-compassion. If you're experiencing domestic abuse, know that you’re not alone, and support is available. Reach out to trusted people, contact a helpline, or connect with local support organisations. Healing is possible, and there’s hope for a life free from abuse. Personalised coaching sessions can support you while you build your self-esteem, and set achievable steps to move forward with your life after abuse. Check out www.ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk

Did you know that the recovery stage after an abusive relationship can be a breeding ground for ANTs? Writing down Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) gets them out of your head, so you can analyse them (also known as “taking the thought to court”) and put the thought into perspective. ➡️Write down the negative thought. ➡️Write down if you have any factual evidence that supports the thought (would this evidence hold up in court?) ➡️If there isn’t any evidence, then work through the thought, to find what triggered it. ➡️Once you know the root cause, you can learn to recognise if it was an automatic negative thought (ANT). 🐜If it is an ANT, over time you’ll learn to stop the thought as soon as it enters your head and before it makes you emotionally react, as you’ll know that it isn’t associated with your present situation and instead, has been triggered by something that’s linked in your memory to a past negative situation. This is a good technique to use if you’ve been in an abusive relationship and you’re getting ANTs in a new relationship🐜🐜🐜 Anything connected to your ex, for instance, something he used to say, a scent he used to wear, a song that reminds you of him, can all trigger past memories and cause anxiety 💀 If you’re still feeling vulnerable, your new partner can accidentally cause a negative reaction if he uses the same phrase your ex did/ doesn’t reply to a message/ leaves the house suddenly etc.😩 Using the flow chart can help you to identify what has caused your reaction or emotion and then you can see if there’s anything you can do to change or resolve it ✅ The more you “take a negative thought to court” the easier it gets, until you can stop a thought in its tracks and calm down quickly, or not emotionally react at all ❤️‍🩹 ----------------------------------------- I'm Aimee, a #MentalWellbeingCoach specialising in supporting females who are recovering from #DomesticAbuse . Learn what I can do to help you: 💌Drop me a DM 📱Whatsapp me: 07587 010183

When a client believes they have no choice in a situation, they can become desperate. In the case of people who have left abusive relationships, feeling desperate can mean restarting the relationship or getting into a similar unhealthy one, using drink or drugs to numb themselves, or isolating themselves, as they don’t know how to move forward alone, or are too scared to do so. Are you ready to make a change but you need a helping hand? Someone with experience and the knowledge, who can understand you and guide you to overcome the anxiety, confusion and depression caused by your ex?   One of the key roles of my coaching is to raise my clients’ awareness, so they learn that they do have a choice. The moment when you realise that it’s entirely up to you what you do next, is empowering and freeing! For some, it can also be overwhelming and you might find yourself feeling lost and in need of guidance. I support clients to make changes that lead to a healthy life. Lasting change comes from within and it’s up to you to be committed to bettering your life. It can be easier to focus on one part of your life first, that you most want to prioritise and change. We start out by using a Wheel of Life, to look at different areas of your life (e.g.: relationships, work, your values, family), then you can determine which area you want to work on first. Quite often, my clients want to work on areas such as increasing their self-esteem, improving their confidence, meeting new people, and becoming more independent but the choice is yours! Working through the following areas, means you can recognise what needs to change in each, to create the new life that you’re dreaming of: Environment: Sometimes, simply changing your surroundings is the first step. Who do you surround yourself with? Are they a positive influence? Do they add value to your life? Do you really still need to keep hold of your skanky ex’s jumper?? (The answer is no). What do you need to remove, that doesn’t compliment your new dream life? Behaviour: So, you want to feel like the old you? The one who was confident and fun loving? The person you were before the ex damaged you and led you to believe that you’re worthless and no one will ever love you, or find you attractive again? (That’s all crap). It’s time to create new habits! Ones of your choice, that you believe will help you and that create the steps towards becoming who you want to feel, how you want to act and who you want to see in the mirror.   Capability: You might not feel capable of change right now but only because your mind, confidence and soul have been pummelled by derogatory comments, humiliation and manipulative tactics. I’ve been there and got the t-shirt. I’ve learnt to overcome the negative thoughts, recreated my life and I believe in me again! Now, I’m a qualified trauma-informed coach and have a variety of mental health certifications, so I have the experience and knowledge to make you feel more capable of change. I use coaching tools to help you, so you move forward more easily and feel less alone along the journey.   Beliefs: I use techniques to learn your limiting beliefs, and then find their root cause, so I can help you to understand where the belief has stemmed from. Once you recognise the belief as negative or limiting, you can understand how it’s been holding you back and why it isn’t necessarily true! You may have beliefs like “I could never do that” and “I’m not confident enough” that have grown inside you, instigated by your ex. Once you’ve allowed this to sink in, you can conquer your thoughts and rework them, so they don’t have power over your life anymore.   Values: Values are the key principles that are important to us, such as wanting (and showing) honesty, respect and support in a relationship. By helping you to recognise your values, means you can create boundaries that align, and start to live a life on your terms. This includes not accepting people into your life who don’t respect your boundaries and who don’t align with your values (all eyes on the narcissistic ex).   Identity: Do you know who you are? Who do you dream to be? Do you want to take the old parts of you and build them into a stronger, wiser, more confident, new you? One who has values and boundaries and lives a dream life?   Do you recognise yourself in the above? Are you ready to take that important next step to shed the old you and overcome trauma? To learn to respect yourself and know your self-worth? Book a free discovery call to get started on creating your dream life: https://calendly.com/ready-aim-succeed-coaching -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Aimee, a #MentalWellbeingCoach specialising in supporting females who are recovering from #DomesticAbuse. Learn what I can do to help you: 💌 www.ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk 📱Whatsapp me: 07587 010183

The narcissist's plan is to keep you under his control both, during and after, the relationship ends. Common techniques he uses to ensure you can't leave include: Financial control : He manages the money, leaving you without access to your own funds. This financial dependency makes you afraid to leave because you don't have the resources to go anywhere else. Isolation : He keeps you away from your family and friends for so long that you're scared you've lost your support network and don't have anyone to turn to. Using children : If you have kids together, he uses them to control you by turning them against you, or, after separation, by preventing you from seeing them or refusing to see them himself, which upsets the children. Pregnancy : By getting you pregnant, he ensures that even if you break up, you can never fully get rid of him. This connection allows him to continue manipulating, bullying, and harassing you. Marriage : He can guilt-trip you into staying by using financial control, shared assets, and bills against you. This makes it difficult to leave without facing more challenges of setting up independently and disconnecting from him. Threats : He makes you too scared to leave by threatening to hurt you. Public humiliation : He uses social media to publicly humiliate you, making you worry that people will believe him and think badly of you, which makes you feel alone and afraid to leave. Undermining confidence : He erodes your confidence and makes you feel unworthy of love, so you believe you'll never find anyone else and choose to stay with him rather than be alone. Emotional Manipulation : They use guilt, shame, and emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible for their well-being, making it hard for you to leave without feeling guilty. Dependency Creation : They encourage or create dependencies, such as moving you away from your support network, and e.g.: making you rely on them for transportation. Sabotaging Independence : They might interfere with your job, education, or other opportunities for personal growth, ensuring you lack the resources or confidence to leave. Creating Drama : They generate constant conflict and chaos, making you too emotionally exhausted to contemplate leaving. Triangulation : They involve a third party to create jealousy, competition, or insecurity, ensuring your focus remains on them and not on leaving. Promises of Change : They make promises to change their behaviour, often during moments when you express a desire to leave, giving you false hope. Using these tactics, means the narcissist is making it more difficult for you to leave. To combat this, maintain your independency by: Ensuring you're responsible for and have access to your own money. Save an emergency fund that he doesn't know about. Continue contacting and seeing your support network. Don't become reliant on him for things you need, for instance: housing, money, food, transport. Don't do anything you don't want to -keep your boundaries and don't commit to situations that you don't 100% want, or are comfortable with. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Aimee, a  #MentalWellbeingCoach  specialising in supporting females who are recovering from  #DomesticAbuse .  If this is you and you need a non-judgemental and confidential chat to learn what I can do to help you: 💌Drop me a DM  📨Email me on:  hello@ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk 📱Whatsapp me: 07587 010183 📞Or, book a free 30 minute enquiry call: https://calendly.com/ready-aim-succeed-coaching

💛 Using the DiSC assessment, I'm an "i" style, what about you..? 🤩"The i in the DiSC model stands for influence. People with i styles present a high-spirited and lively demeanor. They are often optimistic, warm, and social. People with DiSC i styles are more likely than other styles to shape their environments by influencing or persuading others. They are outgoing communicators, people-oriented, optimistic, and enthusiastic. They are creative problem solvers and are skilled at negotiating conflict. They want action and intention upfront and tend to strongly believe in their own ideas and dreams" 🥰 DiSC stands for: D for Dominance, i for Influence, S for Steadiness and C for Conscientiousness. Everyone is a mixture of each style, but most people tend to fall into one or two main DiSC style quadrants.  📦Regardless of our preferred style, sometimes it helps for us to think outside the box and look at a situation from different perspectives. My learning this week involved looking at tasks from different perspectives, by using "The 6 Thinking Hats Technique", to support making decisions, solving problems and creating better outcomes. This is usually used as a team technique but as a solopreneur, I use it alone too.  If you're struggling to make a decision, "put on" each hat in turn, and look at the problem from each perspective that the coloured hat represents: 🎨 Green hat: Look at the idea or issue from the perspective of creativity What new ideas are possible?  How can this be changed or improved? 👍🏻Yellow benefits hat: Look at the benefits What are the positives?  What is this a good idea?  What are the advantages and benefits? 👎🏻 Black caution hat: Look at the negatives What problems could arise?  What are the disadvantages? ❔White facts hat: What facts are needed?  What do I know?  What do I need to find out?  How will I get the information I need? 😍 Red feelings hat: What is my intuition or instinct telling me?  What am I feeling about the idea?  What do I like about these feelings and what do I dislike? 📈 Blue process hat: What's the big picture?  What thinking is needed?  Where are we now?  What do we need to do next? Let me know which of the DiSC styles is your preferred one, and which coloured hat you'd naturally wear 😄

If you believe your partner is a narcissist, it’s important to take steps to protect your emotional and physical wellbeing. Here are some actions you can take: ✔️Educate Yourself : Learn about #narcissistic personality disorder (#NPD) and narcissistic behaviour. Understanding the patterns and tactics used by narcissists can help you recognize and respond to the behaviour more effectively. ✔️Set #Boundaries : Establish clear and firm boundaries. Communicate your limits and enforce them consistently. Narcissists often test boundaries, so it’s crucial to stick to your beliefs and not give in to their manipulative tactics. ✔️Seek #Support : Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a support group. Talking to others who understand your situation can provide emotional support. Be honest with them- by being open you can fully gain their perspective and potential knowledge on the situation. Have a selection of trusted people aware of your circumstance, so if you need them in future they can act faster to help. ✔️Document Behaviour : Due to gaslighting and the rollercoaster of emotions a narcissist can cause, it can become difficult to think straight. Keep a record of your partner’s behaviour, especially instances of #manipulation , #gaslighting , or #abuse . This documentation can be useful if you decide to seek professional help or legal action. It also helps you to gain your own perspective and remember what happened, when and how often. The damage of anxiety and trauma being created inside of you, can lead to you feeling confused and less able to see a situation clearly. If you're constantly checking your diary to see when they were last "nice", this isn't healthy. ✔️Focus on Self-Care : Prioritise your mental and physical health. Engage in activities that make you feel good, practice self-compassion and ensure you still see family and friends. Consider seeing a therapist to work through your feelings and develop coping strategies. ✔️Avoid Engaging in Arguments : Narcissists thrive on conflict and often try to provoke emotional reactions by taunting you and aggravating a situation. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or trying to "win" against them. Instead, stay calm and disengage when necessary. Don't be pushed into acting in a way that isn't normal for you. A narcissist will push you in the hope that you'll lash out, then they can become the victim and use it against you. ✔️Develop an Exit Plan : If the relationship becomes too toxic or abusive, you may need to consider leaving. Plan your exit strategy carefully, ensuring you have a safe place to go and financial independence if possible. This is especially important if you feel threatened or unsafe. ✔️Consider Professional Help: #Therapy can be beneficial both for understanding your situation and for developing strategies to cope with and respond to narcissistic behaviour. A therapist can also support you in making decisions about the relationship. ✔️Legal and Safety Considerations : If you are experiencing any form of abuse, prioritise your safety. Consider consulting with legal professionals or contacting local authorities or domestic violence organisations for advice and support. ✔️Reflect on the Relationship : Evaluate the impact of the relationship on your overall wellbeing. Consider whether the relationship is healthy and sustainable in the long term. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected, valued, and safe. Look at their past relationships and see if there is a theme. Are there any patterns? How does your partner talk about previous relationships, is it with respect or degrading for the other person? Have they had a series of short-term relationships? Was each girl labelled their "soul mate" on social media, publicly etc? Remember that dealing with a narcissistic partner can be challenging and emotionally draining. It's important to take care of yourself and seek help when needed. ------‐---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Aimee, a #MentalWellbeingCoach specialising in supporting females who are recovering from domestic abuse. If the above is you and you need a non-judgemental and confidential chat, drop me a DM email me on: hello@ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk or Whatsapp me: 07587 010183 It's important to talk. #MentalHealth #MentalHealthMatters #TraumaCoaching #Confidence #SelfEsteem #ReadyAimSucceedCoaching #Coach #MentalWellbeing #DomesticAbuse #Trauma #TraumaRecovery #Depression #TraumaInformedCoaching #AwarenessOfMentalHealthProblems #MentalHealthFirstAider #Understanding #Behaviour #Burnout and #Depression #NeuroLinguisticProgramming #Symptoms #Treatment and #ManagementOfADHD #AutismAwareness #DomesticAbuseSupport #AbuseRecovery #Narcissist #Narc #DomesticViolence #DomesticViolenceSupport #RedFlags #Gaslighting

You've been wearing your rose-tinted glasses for months, while being doted on by (what seems to be) the perfect gentleman. He wants to spend all his time with you, he makes you feel loved and important. You don't doubt his feelings because all relationships are like this at the start, where you're wanting to spend all your time together, aren't they. Besides, you've never heard of love bombing before, so there's nothing niggling away at the back of your mind saying "maybe this isn't normal" when he says, you're his "soul mate" and "the love of his life" and all of his exes were "psychos". Gradually you start to find that he belittles you and humiliates you in front of others, he begins to twist your words, telling you he didn’t mean it “like that” and “you’re insecure” when you get upset ...which ironically, makes you feel insecure. But you can’t say that because then he'll twist that too and use it against you, by saying you're "needy" or "crazy" ...anything to take the responsibility away from himself. You want to believe that he does love you and you try to convince your friends the same, “It’s only because he’s had a drink, he’s not normally like that” except you’re trying to convince yourself as much as them. There's the days where you do what he wants because you know there’ll be an argument if you don't and you’re too tired to argue. You just want to have fun and to relax, so it’s easier this way ...isn’t it? Your emotions flow between anxious energy as you feel like you're always "walking on eggshells", and exhausted from being so confused because this emotional rollercoaster is messing up your mind. “Relationships aren’t all smooth sailing though, are they?” you keep telling yourself. “Everyone has arguments, don’t they!” You try to justify it time and time again. ... but really, this much? And over things like who you talked to at the bar?? And then there's "why has HE just text you??" ...so, you stop texting your male friends and eventually you barely see your female friends either because they don't like him anyway and you can't go alone, because he'll either get angry, or try to stop you. There's the times where he suddenly storms out, too. Making a scene as he slams the door because you'd been invited to a work party/ your friend text/ a male friend reacted to your Facebook status/ insert your own here You hear the car charging away. His empty glass left on the side. The rest of the bottle has disappeared with him. You’re anxious he might get hurt. You know he shouldn’t be driving. So, now you worry and wonder is it your fault? Are you insecure?? Are you oversensitive?? You didn’t think so, but are you?? Maybe you shouldn’t have male friends’ texting if it’s going to upset him? So, you sit on the sofa fretting, until hours later when you finally hear the car again. You let out a sigh of relief. At least you know he isn’t dead. But you don’t want another argument. You’re drained and wrought. So, when he comes back inside you don’t mention what happened and how he upset you. Just like you didn’t mention when it happened the other night too. Next day, he acts like nothing happened and he showers you with affection. You hope and hope, that this time it'll remain this way because when it does, everything feels perfect. You don't tell your friends and family because you don't want to cause a scene and make them worry. Not when everything is going well again and he's so nice between the bad moments... Does this resonate? How long will it take you to realise what he's doing. To recognise that he's sucking the life out of you ...your personality and your positivity, leaving you empty. Getting off the rollercoaster you've come to know may be scary but staying on it forever is worse. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Aimee, a #MentalWellbeingCoach  specialising in supporting females who are recovering from domestic abuse. If the above resonates with you and you want a non-judgemental and confidential chat to get your sparkle back, drop me a DM! Or... Email me on hello@ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk   Whatsapp me: 07587 010183 Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aimee-heaton-ready-aim-succeed-coaching/ Follow me on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ready_aim_succeed_coaching/ Learn more about how I can help you today: www.ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk It's important to talk 💖

Being with a narcissist means being exposed to frequent put downs, being belittled and embarrassed, ignored, gas lighted and basically, bullied. If you haven’t been in this situation, it’s probably hard for you to imagine why the person (victim) would stay. I know some of you might roll your eyes and think “well, just leave!” but narc people are well practiced at treating the victim badly, but with the right amount of love bombing in between to make you think “they’re not all that bad”, “why let one horrific day cancel out the last few weeks of affection and fun” etc etc... You want to believe they don’t mean it, so you give them another chance ...or, you try to get rid of them but they threaten you- “you’ll never afford to pay the rent without me”, “I’ll make sure everyone thinks you’re the bad guy”, “you’re nothing without me”, “look at you, no one else will ever love you” (insert your own here). Do you know what trauma feels like? Imagine one of those rocks that you chisel away at to reveal a fossil underneath. One hit doesn’t always make a dent, but the more you chip away, the more fragile it becomes and gradually, little parts fall away. At first, it doesn't cause too much damage but over and over again, then the rock is no longer whole. It’s lost parts of itself and is left feeling broken. This is what trauma is.  The symptoms present as other issues, so you might think you have depression or anxiety. You could struggle with negative thoughts and nightmares, you’re constantly on edge and you jump when someone appears. It’s the flashbacks when you hear your ex’s ringtone, or the jolt of fear when you smell their aftershave.  Trauma is like venom. It sinks into your mind. Like thick treacle it seeps into all the cracks and crevices, making its way deeper and deeper, so you don’t notice until it’s too late.  You finally realise the darkness is there, when you don’t feel like you anymore. You feel low- not just sad, a real heavy depressed darkness. You feel lost, lonely, upset but numb and ironically, YOU feel guilty, questioning yourself WHY did you get into a relationship with him? And you’re so damn confused! Your mind is so mixed up by the lies and the rollercoaster life you’ve been going through, that you don’t know yourself anymore, or how you’re supposed to feel.  Oh, and BTW, you don’t know who to ask either because fuck knows who you can trust. Someone you were meant to be able to trust wholeheartedly has grown into a monster, and if you can’t trust them, who can you trust? Even worse... how can you trust yourself? When you made such a bad judge of character, your empathy sucked in and thrown in your face again when you believed his victim story about how his exes treated him. Then, eventually you realise... everything his “exes did” are what he’s been doing to you.  Finally, it hits you ...this isn’t HIS victim story. This is his ex’s story and the ex before that ...and now, you. When it gets really bad, that’s when you finally realise you need help and the GP diagnoses you with trauma. Trauma that took days, months, years to sink in and trauma that could now take months, years, decades, to recover from. The above isn’t one of my client’s stories. This is my story.  I didn’t have a counsellor or coach but I worked on fixing myself a lot. Knowing what I know now, all the research I did, all the different methods I used to fix my mind and recreate myself, would have been simpler if I’d had someone there, who understood and would consistently be there to guide me. I’ve chosen to support females going through this because who better to help someone, to truly understand what they’re going through, who can relate and give realistic advice than someone who has gone through that too. This is just to let you know that you aren’t alone and there’s always going to be someone there to help you 💖 If you'd like some support and a safe space, join the free Ready Aim Succeed Coaching Wellbeing group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/readyaimsucceedcoachingwellbeingsupportgroup/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Aimee, a #MentalWellbeingCoach  specialising in supporting females who are recovering from domestic abuse. If the above resonates with you and you want a non-judgemental and confidential chat to get your sparkle back, drop me a DM! Or... Email me on hello@ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk   Whatsapp me: 07587 010183 Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aimee-heaton-ready-aim-succeed-coaching/ Follow me on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ready_aim_succeed_coaching/ Learn more about how I can help you today: www.ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk It's important to talk 💖

Not everyone knows how to recognise a narcissist's red flags but once you know and have been bitten, it's up to you to break the cycle. They're not going to change, so don't expect to be treated any differently if you go back to them, or if you let them come skulking back pretending to be "sorry" (they never apologise, so don't waste your time waiting). You're just as accountable for how you are made to feel, so it's on you to be selective about who you allow into your life and who to choose to be surrounded by. The longer you put up with narcissistic ways of manipulation , coercive control, gaslighting, love bombing etc then the longer you're allowing it to happen and the longer it'll take to recover. Some of you may be saying "it isn't that easy" and you're right. When you're in the depths of being manipulated, controlled and threatened, it is hard to leave but with support you can. Or, if you have your own place, wait for them to go out on whatever alcohol/ drug/ sympathy binging mission they've gone on and pack their bags, throw them outside and change the locks. Once you've ditched the gutter rat, take time to do whatever it takes to make you feel YOU again, and for however long it takes. Getting support will help to make the process that bit easier too. It's your life and you're in charge of creating your own happiness, not other people. So, if you keep allowing someone into your life, whether they're a narc or just a negative nelly, consider- Do they better your life? Do they add value? Do they energise you or are they an energy sucking vampire, leaving you drained and losing your sparkle? If that's the case, get rid. I did, and I'm so much better off for it 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you'd like some support and a safe space, join the free Ready Aim Succeed Coaching Wellbeing group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/readyaimsucceedcoachingwellbeingsupportgroup/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Aimee, a #MentalWellbeingCoach specialising in supporting females who are recovering from domestic abuse. If the above resonates with you and you want a non-judgemental and confidential chat to get your sparkle back, drop me a DM! Or... Email me on hello@ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk   Whatsapp me: 07587 010183 Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aimee-heaton-ready-aim-succeed-coaching/ Follow me on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/ready_aim_succeed_coaching/ Learn more about how I can help you today: www.ready-aim-succeed-coaching.co.uk It's important to talk 💖 #MentalHealth   #MentalHealthMatters   #TraumaCoaching   #Confidence   #SelfEsteem   #ReadyAimSucceedCoaching   #Coach   #MentalWellbeing   #DomesticAbuse   #Trauma   #TraumaRecovery   #Depression   #TraumaInformedCoaching   #AwarenessOfMentalHealthProblems   #MentalHealthFirstAider

"Sometimes, life can feel as though you're falling. Continuously tumbling down, constantly falling through darkness, with no direction, feeling lost. Along the way, you're knocked around, twisting and turning, causing a searing pain. It eventually numbs. Leaving a scar. Sometimes you're nudged, it makes your body turn, moving in a different direction. Onto a new path and a fresh journey starts all over again. Time gradually slows, you begin to feel as if you're gliding through space. Glimmers like stars give you light, bringing you hope in the darkness, seeking them gives you new purpose. Something to reach for, to feel their glimmering energy transferred to yours. Each time, there's a transformation, a brightening, creating a feeling of becoming more at home inside yourself. The darkness is losing its power, becoming less frightening. Now you feel as if you're soaring through space. The lessons remain with you and the scars on your skin, but as you age with the stars, you keep magnetising their shimmer and become part of you. Creating new pieces of yourself, it seeps into the cracks and like glitter glue pulls you back together, as the brightness keeps growing inside of you. No longer feeling alone, you've found your power. Realisation hits, that what you needed all along was to prioritise you"